Reddits Female Dating Strategy Offers Women Advice And A Strict Rulebook For How To Act

by theme12 calendar April 17th, 2023     |     Share   

When you’re no longer under the thumb of others, you are harder to intimidate, and people don’t get the rush of controlling you. When you are in charge of your own destiny, the joy of living is yours to own, and no one else’s. A place to snark on fundies and snark on the snark. MGTOW may have gone off the rails at the end but at its core it was about men withdrawing from relationships and living their lives for themselves. Eventually he’s like why don’t you want to talk or do anything anymore? If you want to be emotionally unavailable for me, I can do that, too.

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The phrases “pickme” and “NotLikeOtherGirls” has become nothing more than the insult du jour of people who like to insult women but still pretend they espouse feminist rhetoric. The subreddit imploded after the mods started a podcast and began courting those who were against abortion/had conservative values as the original subreddit had A LOT of extremely feminist users. I actually think it still exists today but you cannot post or comment.

r/FemaleDatingStrategy IS toxic and thats the truth

But by denying women autonomy over their bodies and sexual choices, they often ended up dehumanizing women who didn’t live up to their moral standards. When enough women stop accepting that abuse, men are left alone with their own shit. Many of them are incapable of the self reflection needed to take responsibility and do the actual healing work on themselves. They’re freaking out because in their eyes we don’t have the right to opt out as their physical/sexual/emotional punching bag. I’m not even pinpointing any specific subreddit, I’ve seen this pop up a ton all of a sudden, including from young women at work.

Many FDS members talk about how FDS changed their lives. One user said FDS helped them block a manipulative guy they’d been seeing for years; another said the community helped her leave an abusive relationship. Much of the basic advice in FDS can be helpful in learning one’s worth and relearning how to assert boundaries as an adult. Join the official website at for more FDS content beyond Reddit.

The sexual conservatism of their approach can become oppressive to women. Women are encouraged to not disclose their sexual history to partners or have sex too soon because they believe no man would ever love a woman who has sex quickly. FDS’s approach to dating shares some behaviors with traditionally male and radical relationship subreddits. Like pickup artists, Female Dating Strategy often objectifies the opposite gender and turns dating into some sort of game to be won — just in their case, it isn’t having sex that’s the prize, but finding a High Value Male.

It’s going to have to take shit getting really bad like it is in South Korea for men to wake up. He’d call to vent about bullshit, I just stopped picking up. I was genuinely tired of being his emotional punching bag. I’m talking to him about my day and my issues and he’s asleep.

About Community

It was by and for women, but women with extreme internalized misogyny. The site also echoes a brand of anti-porn feminism that reaches back to the 1970s and 1980s’ Feminist Sex Wars. Sex-positive feminists argued for, as author Gayle Rubin put it, the “decriminalization of sexuality and for all consenting persons to do what they wished sexually.” Their opponents argued that porn, BDSM, and sex work were inherently oppressive and degrading to women.

Dedicated members of Female Dating Strategy are supposed to read the subreddit’s six-point ideology around how to approach dating, follow its list of rules , and use women-critical lingo such as “pickmeisha” and “cockholm syndrome” (when a woman keeps going back to “low-value” men). There are even approved podcasters and YouTubers for FDS members to listen to. These strict rules mean that FDS members only support certain women.

You now see your relationships with others as they are, and don’t make excuses for people who don’t respect you or treat you like they care about you. Integrity is the name of your game, and if someone you’re dealing with doesn’t have it, they’re out of your circle. “Pick Me” was popularized on the now defunct Female Dating Strategy. The Female Dating Strategy was an attempt to create something akin to TheRedPill subreddits but for women. The sub started with vaguely feminist notions, but then became one of the most misogynistic hell-holds on reddit.

We focus on effective dating strategies for women who want to take control of their dating lives. Follow FDS on social media and join the official website at for more FDS content beyond Reddit. A woman who isn’t afraid of being single isn’t afraid to leave. She understands that the societal pressure to stay with a man is there because men benefit from her freely given sexual, reproductive, emotional and physical labour, therefore she is the prize.

The purpose of this subreddit is to critique, and debunk feminist views and talking-points. But while FDS’s advice can seem appealing at first, underneath is a socially conservative approach that’s often deeply critical of women and their behaviors, placing limits on how they can act and what they ought to seek from a relationship. Literally first rule for content policy “Everyone has a right to use Reddit free of harassment, bullying, and threats of violence. Communities and users that incite violence or that promote hate based on identity or vulnerability will be banned.” Men and women attribute positive traits to women more than they do to men.

I really don’t think men have this many ways to insult each other specifically for being men. It’s gross and has a RIPE smell of internalized misogyny. So anyways, that died I think over a year ago, but all of a sudden I’m seeing the phrase “pickme” picking back up and…what do you know, it’s used against any women that people disagree with. I cannot stand misogyny repackaged as feminist language.

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